Not being able to eat wheat puts a dampener on enjoying food. All prepared food seems to contain wheat. Supermarkets these days have 'free from' aisles, which supposedly have wheat-free treats. Normally 'free from' means free from flavour. Now, the 'priced like Harrods' corner shop in my housing development have started selling wheat-free cakes; if only they were free from flavour.

Mrs Crimble's honey caramel cake is one of the most utterly repulsive foods it has been my displeasure not to have avoided tasting. I didn't even swallow it so totally repellant was it. The texture was dry and powdery and it tasted like the smell of kitchen cleaner; cheap perfume and soap. I am really disgusted that I can still taste it a couple of minutes after I spat it out. The word 'horrible' goes nowhere near far enough to describe this travesty of a cake.

I've never had any other Vietnamese food in London, so I suppose this counts as the best I've had. It is certainly an oasis of pleasure in a run-down location, even if it looks like a squalid take-away.

Cafe East is not terribly large so if you want a table you have to turn up reasonably promptly after they open otherwise you'll have to queue. When we were there it was heaving with Vietnamese people after a taste of home; I don't think they were disappointed.

The menu is short and packed with noodle dishes. They some rice-noodle offerings, which helps those of us with wheat problems. There are a token few non-noodle dishes, like the sliced Vietnamese sausage we ordered, but it is clear these are not the main focus of the cuisine. The sliced sausage was meaty and quite satisfying.

Daniel's noodles with raw beef certainly put a smile on his face, as did my rice noodles with chicken slices on mine. The broth they were served in had clearly seen plenty of bones to make a tasty stock; very powerfully flavoured. The noodles were quite delicious as were the bits of meat; Daniel was enthusiastic about the raw beef. Next time I will wimp out and ask for a fork, eating noodles with chopsticks is a bit of a drag.

Cafe East does not have an alcohol license and we failed to ask about the possibility of BYO for our next visit.

It may look a bit of a dump and be located in a serious dump, but the quality of the food cannot be denied. It is also a bargain noshing experience; it cost us £11 per person.

Contact details: Cafe East, 24 Evelyn Street, London SE8 5DG. 020 8691 7777

We were in Oxford at the weekend and my step-father cooked a coq au vin; It rivaled even La Ferme de la Ruchotte's effort. So I stole the recipe. You will need:

The very best chicken you can find that weighs about 1kg, get your butcher to joint it into twelve pieces
500ml red wine
1tablespoon olive oil
150g thick-cut bacon, cubed
15 small shallots, peeled
200g button mushrooms
1 clove of garlic, peeled and crushed
300ml chicken stock
2 bay leaves
2 sprigs of thyme
Sea salt
Freshly ground pepper

Trim the chicken pieces of excess fat. For a really rich flavour, marinate the chicken pieces in the wine over-night. The next day pour off the marinade (keep it to cook with) and dry the chicken well with Kitchen paper to make frying easier.

Heat the oven to 180°C. Put the olive oil and bacon in a large ovenproof casserole dish and cook over a medium heat for three minutes. Add the whole shallots and cook for a further six minutes until browned, then add the mushrooms and garlic and cook for another two minutes, stirring well. Remove the ingredients from the pan and keep them. Place the chicken in the casserole and cook until golden and sealed all over - do this in batches to get a good, even colour, Set the browned chicken to one side.

Reduce the heat. Slowly add the red wine (or marinade) and the chicken stock and bring to boil. Return the chicken, vegetables, and bacon to the casserole, along with the bay leaves, thyme and seasoning. Cover and cook in the oven for 35 minutes.

Whilst my step-father's coq is good as soon as it is ready, it really improves if you cover it up and come back to it the next day. Just warm it through and the flavours will be even more intense.

I used to blow up custard powder and flour when I was a youth, but this lorry driver managed a far bigger explosion than I could have dreamed of. It would have been fun to watch.

Sitting just off Edgware road Green Valley can be found; a Lebanese delicatessen of such quality it is deserving of destination-status for any lovers of Lebanese food.

We have been there many times before, but as we were coming back from Oxford via Paddington today it seemed an ideal opportunity to drop by without trekking off the path home. As ever, our visit there was most profitable.

They have a wide selection of Middle-Eastern foods to choose from. Their lamb kibbeh are always pleasing, we got six. For general snacking purposes the falafel are the best I've had in London, delicious. They have a range of prepared salads, mujadarah (lentil salad with fried onions) is a personal favourite. I have many happy memories of this dish causing me to fart like a trumpet major: this merits buying a large tub full. They have excellent bean salads and great hommous.

As well as the array of prepared goodies they have a well-stoked meat counter, which usually has such things as lamb testicles, whole ox tongue and for the more conventional diner the beef, veal and lamb look excellent.

There are plenty of Middle-Eastern canned goods and excellent flat-breads which are so good it is deeply painful that I cannot eat wheat. In the fridge you shouldn't miss out on the Power Horse energy-drink, hits the caffeine spot and sounds vaguely suggestive.

There is such an embarrassment of riches it can sometimes be hard not to splurge out excessively but, as we know, the path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. What can I say but cruise up the Green Valley and enjoy noshing.

Contact details: Green Valley, 36 Upper Berkeley Street, London W1H 5QF. 0207 402 7385.

We were informed that Sakana-tei was a destination restaurant for Japanese types in London. This we took as a good sign. Indeed, the blackboards listing specials covered in Japanese script with no translation showed the clientele they were catering to.

They did have menus in English; they seemed to have a lot of chef's or seasonal specials with no hint of how much one was going to pay. I suppose this would be acceptable if you had been before and knew what to expect, but  for a neophyte visitor it was a touch impenetrable.

We ordered a couple of starters. Raw octopus was very chewy and I didn't really go for the slimy texture. It was in some water with pickled cucumber and seaweed, both of these were nicer than the octopus.

Our second starter was some skewers of grilled chicken. This was a real success; the chicken was bursting with flavour and the sauce they had been marinated in was quite delicious. This perked me up no end after the weirdness of the octopus.

Finally, we get to sushi. We ordered a chef's special; we were asked if we wanted six or eight pieces and chose eight. The highlights were an amazing piece of eel, some great tuna, lovely bonito and a fantastic scallop offering. The wasabi levels were a bit inconsistent in these, but not enough to ruin the experience. All of the pieces ranked as serious sushi.

Overall, this ranks as the best sushi we've had in London. It is not surprising that this restaurant was packed with Japanese people, as it was serving top-quality sushi that must be a taste of home. At £82 for the entire meal, including a few beers, you just cannot go wrong. Next time I'd like to try sitting at the sushi bar, but I'd just be happy to visit again and have some top quality fish. No slimy octopus, please.

Contact details: Sakana-tei, 11 Maddox Street, London W1S 2QF 0871 0757855.

Those of us who have difficulties with wheat can have a miserable time choosing food; wheat is in bloody everything. However, on my last trip to our local branch of Sainsburys I checked the ingredients of two of their 'Taste the difference' range of sausages and was delighted to see they didn't contain wheat. Hooray! I love sausages and it is great that a supermarket is pandering to picky eaters like me and making some gluten-free ones. The favours of choice are Sicilian and British pork and herb.

OK, they may not reach the stellar quality of the gluten-free sausages from Sillfield Farm, but they'll do very nicely, thank you.

I have railed against the danger of salad in the past: lettuce will give you cancer. Obviously lettuce is to be avoided wherever possible, but there are ways to make it even less healthy.

Leftist-shite sloppy thinkers generally believe that organic fruit and vegetables are more healthy than standard fruit and vegetables. This is, of course, total bullshit. Organic fruit and vegetables are not sprayed to prevent them from rotting, so by the time they reach the supermarket shelf they are laced with carcinogenic fungal metabolic by-products that non-organic offerings do not have.

Now, the hard of thinking may think that the compounds used to preserve non-organic fruit and vegetables would be dangerous. This is really sloppy thinking, who would knowingly lace food with toxins that damage people? Of course, you can wash these preservatives off the surface of non-organic food, where as organic fruit and vegetables contain their carcinogenic compounds all of the way through; they cannot be washed away.

It is only organic fruit and vegetables that are dangerous, organic meat is fine (to be sought out, in fact). So, avoid lettuce, definitely avoid organic lettuce. Not buying organic fruit and vegetables will also save money; cheaper and healthier, hooray!