# Monday, March 03, 2008
As well as attending the mind-bogglingly awful Serge et Co. (there are only torrents of invective that can describe that place) we also visited two much better places. I have reviewed them before so you can just click on the links: Restaurant l'Arnsbourg and Chez Yvonne.

I should add that this time we stayed a night at l'Arnsbourg's new hotel: Hotel K. It was completely lovely. Very comfortable, good beds, peaceful environment and marvellous baths. Also, on my third visit to l'Arnsbourg I once again had the best meal of my life; they just go from strength to strength.
Monday, March 03, 2008 10:42:19 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback

Your could only enjoy Serge et Co. if you had a spoon fetish; they kept bringing them and taking them away with incredible frequency. For everyone else, it is a little restaurant of horrors.

When visiting Strasbourg for a night we decided to visit this restaurant as it had got good reviews and sounded like they were making interesting food. Indeed, they had recently been awarded a Michelin star, how could we go wrong?

The first suggestion that we could go wrong occurred when we pulled up outside in the taxi: The restaurant was hideous, Every wall was painted a different colour, lovely combinations of orange, grey and brown screamed out through the windows. We walked in and things only got worse: they had an incredibly tasteless ceiling duvet hanging from the roof and the vile walls were adorned with livid red 3D pictures. A veritable Australian's nightmare.

As Daniel was reading the wine list I asked him to wipe the look of horror from his face. He suggested that I look at it instead; seconds later he was telling me not to look so appalled. It was a shameful selection of wines for a restaurant in a great wine region. There was virtually no Riesling one would want to drink and we agreed there was only one red wine we could possibly choose.

The menu promised 'contemporary cooking' and we chose a five course, Euro68 menu which we hoped would get us back in the mood. We were to be not only disappointed by it but also personally offended.

The amuse bouche they offered us was a ravioli of ceps and foie gras in a cep broth. The pasta had clearly been cooking all day so limp and flaccid was it, with a watery, flavourless filling and the broth it was in was thin and totally lacking flavour. Oh dear.

The first proper course had sounded like an interesting take on foie gras, a maki roll of foie. This consisted of a lump of foie gras wrapped in rice which had been pan-fried sitting in some iced turnip water. The foie was nice enough, but the fried rice was pointless and the turnip water completely vile. “Why?” was all I could repeat on trying to choke this filth down.

We then moved onto sole with mussels, puy lentils and a mousse of what looked (and I dare say tasted) like grilled baby vomit on top of it. The sole managed to be both over-cooked and distinctly chewy and the mussels were tinned pieces of awfulness. The lentils were at least properly cooked, but again they were sitting in a watery, characterless broth. We shall pass over the grilled baby vomit mousse as this defied description, although Daniel dimly remembers having something similar, but far tastier, in a Findus frozen fish gratin, in his youth.

We chose two different main courses. I had venison with a little bolognaise of meat sitting by it. The venison was lacking any form of flavour that might have made it nice. The bolognaise reminded me of an ex-girlfriend's breath; she used to eat tinned cat food. Daniel had roast lamb that was tough, over-cooked and tasted of wool. With this came some play-dough-like gnocchi and, can you believe it, two edible things: a slice of lamb sausage and some choucroute with fennel. Two swallows do not a summer make, alas.

The first three courses had been actively unpleasant, so it was almost a relief to have a cheese course which was merely boring, if weird. Some brie sprinkled with truffle powder and wrapped in a thin sheet of pasta. With this waste of decent brie it meant that Serge et Co. had managed to turn France's three great treasures, wine, cooking and cheese, into shameful parodies.

The feeling of depression over our corner of the restaurant was now very deep, so we almost perked up when desserts came and they had ideas. Alas, the ideas turned out to be as hollow as Serge's cooking was nauseating. Daniel had a smoking cigar of chocolate with a vanilla cream filling served in a cigar ash-tray with vanilla and berry sauce to dip it in. It was shit. David had 'frites' of battered pineapple with some unidentifiable white foam to dip it in and a little toothpaste tube of red fruit ketchup. The ketchup was flavourless, the white foam can only be thought of in terms of its texture, far too reminiscent of jizz, and the frites were simply big fingers of grease. After these horrors we were convinced that Serge Burckel was a talentless poseur who could only have got his star by dosing the Michelin inspector's food with hallucinogenic drugs.

As you can tell, we didn't enjoy this at all. From the terrible decor, via the embarassingly poor wine list to the frankly horrible food this was a catalogue of shame. The only redeeming feature of the place is that the taxi they called us got there quickly, allowing us to leave this travesty of a restaurant behind us; but they can hardly be applauded for a taxi's promptness. We were truly amazed that the place not only had other clients, but was full; are the denizens of Strasbourg so keen to try novel cooking they are willing to put up with it being dire?

We are not going to give contact details for this restaurant as we would not even want our worst enemy to visit this horrible, horrible, temple of awfulness.

Daniel with his chocolate cigar:

Daniel with the vile cigar made by Serge et Co.

David's greasy frites:

The horrible pineapple frites made by Serge et Co.

Monday, March 03, 2008 10:32:46 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Thursday, January 31, 2008

Pravda is having a go at vegetarians, calling them a freak of nature. I particularly liked the paragraph:

Furthermore, cosmetologists say that a typical vegetarian has dry and fragile hair, dull eyes and unhealthy complexion. They can hardly stand criticism and have a low boiling point. They raise their voice, swing their arms and splutter when arguing. They are weak even in their logic. They exemplify their righteousness with the cow, a herbivorous animal, and say that nature originally made a human being as a vegetarian creature.

Of course, there is something slightly suspect about vegetarians. Anyone who can deny themselves pleasure for completely arbitrary reasons shows they are misguided at the very least. Cooking for vegetarians is always a pain, even vegetable soup needs chicken stock to make it good. Strange people. And if any vegetarians are offended by reading this just remember we have been told that "They can hardly stand criticism and have a low boiling point".

Thursday, January 31, 2008 12:15:39 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Sunday, January 27, 2008

Which is to say, it shines out like a shaft of gold when all about is dark; the culinary scene is so very, very dark in Helsinki. If you can live with the geological pace of service, this restaurant provides the best food we have experienced in Helsinki.

Our initial impressions from their website were coloured by the outrageous mark-ups on their wine-list; most prices seemed like outright robbery. There were literally a handful of less insanely priced wines, and we chose two that should allow us to have a good time no matter what came out of the kitchen. Our impressions were improved by the design of the dining room, which was suitably minimalist with large tables that were well-spaced. It was a shame they felt the need to have background music playing.

Since we were dining on a Saturday there was only a surprise menu of various course-lengths to choose from. We took the bullet and went for the nine-course tasting menu.

It started off extremely well with three little 'gifts from the kitchen'. Firstly came a cep ravioli with cep foam in a cep broth. This was very mushroomy with great purity of flavours, quite delicious. Following on came blinis with turbot roe, smetana ice cream and red onion spaghetti. The blini had a great crunchy texture, the ice cream interesting and tasty, the spaghetti quite lovely and the roe very pleasing. It took forty minutes for these two amuses-bouches to be served. The final offering was duck confit with beetroot ice cream and beetroot broth. The duck was very rich and crunchy with an excellent flavour that was perfectly matched by the powerful beetroot, its slightly vinegary tang giving this a good bite.

The last amuse bouche followed very quickly after the second, so at this point we were a tad concerned about the random pacing of the meal, the slow arrival of the first real course demonstrated the speed was glacial. However, the dish was quite excellent. It was a shelled oyster with the oyster water whipped into a foam (a l'Arnsbourg) with exotic fruits. The fruit sweetness perfectly balanced the flavour of the oyster and the whole dish was a delight.

Foie gras followed, which is always a bit of a worry in places so far from foie gras-land. We were not disappointed by this. The piece of pan-fried foie was utterly delicious and the pate was just great with some good shavings of black truffle to add decadence. It came with a melon sorbet that had a delightfully pure flavour and a little 'Swiss roll' made from a sheet of melon stuffed with foie gras puree. Lovely stuff.

Next came a scallop with cauliflower and scallop risotto, shaved black truffles, tarragon sauce and a deep-fried tiny baby squid. This seemed to have been hanging about for a while before it had been served, but it was lovely. Not only was the scallop perfectly cooked, but the risotto was very flavoursome and matched the scallop wonderfully. Perhaps the calamari was a bit salty, but it did not detract from an otherwise excellent dish.

Our final fish course was a piece of sole with ginger sauce. David detests ginger so was pleased the fish had not been smothered with it as the fish was cooked wonderfully and had a great meatiness. This came with three little ravioli of lobster that had a reasonable lobster character but were not amazingly thrilling.

Then came a course to cleanse the palate. Carrot puree with tarragon sorbet, a granite of carrot and a lemon and ginger sorbet. Again, this looked like it had been waiting around a few minutes too long, as the sorbets had melted slightly. Yet, the flavours were most pleasing. The tarragon sorbet was particularly intense. David avoided the ginger option but it was extremely refreshing and powerfully flavoured.

We then had a truly marvellous piece of milk-fed veal that was served with sweetbread, shaved black truffles and a potato puree. The veal was meltingly tender and excellently cooked, as was the piece of sweetbread. The pace of the meal may have been sluggish in the extreme, but this was another dish that stopped us from making a scene as it was so good.

Three microscopic pieces of cheese followed. They were in reasonable condition but it was a shame that a restaurant of this obvious quality could not manage to have a cheese trolley.

Before dessert we chose three different glasses of dessert wine to share. They had an excellent selection on offer all available by the glass. The Deiss 1989 Altenberg Gerwurztraminer SGN was mind-buggeringly good.

The pre-dessert was the only really disappointing dish we had. It was titled 'Crepe Suzette a la Chez Dominique'. This consisted of a hard wafer of a crepe, on top of orange blossom ice cream and orange sauce misted with some Grand Marnier and orange water. It was quite bland, the wafer was too hard and it had obviously been hanging around (again) as the ice cream was liquid. It was a small dish so we were not forced to endure its boring nature for long.

Dessert itself was a concoction of berries with berry ice cream and sorbet, fresh berries and a berry sauce. Nice fresh flavours that perked one up at the end of the meal.

We did not stop for coffee as we had been there for over four hours and it was getting rather late. But the meal had been a great success. We were bowled over by the quality of the cooking, which was only slightly marred by the slowness in getting dishes to the table. You have to chose carefully from the wine list if you do not want to drink filth at outrageous prices. This was the best meal we'd had since we'd last been at l'Arnsbourg, demonstrating that this was indeed worthy of its two stars and marking Chez Dominique as a beacon in the culinary desert that is Helsinki.

Contact details and menus on their website.

Sunday, January 27, 2008 9:34:04 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Saturday, January 12, 2008

My packet of Lurpak butter has this to say about wonderful, wonderful mashed potato:

Lurpak's opinion of mash

When it is made properly it is a marvellous thing. I wouldn't make it with Lurpak Spreadable, though.

Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:25:49 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback

I may have had a shitty time at Quick in France, but that made me more depressed than angry. I've just witnessed the true anger fast food establishments can generate at Doubting Dan's completely hilarious site. There is a man who is in touch with his anger; almost makes me want to go to Burger King with him. Almost... KFC is right out, though.

Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:09:38 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Friday, January 11, 2008

OK, my blog entry title is copied from here, but:

gorgon

Three hundred grams of quite ripe Gorgonzola Dolce slapped a satisfied smile across my face, even though it required wiping the excess cheese from it in order to discern the smile. I do like cheese, it is one of those partially-spoiled foods that can provide so much pleasure. Sigmund Freud had a bit of a problem with cheese, we are told, some problem with the symbolism relating to his lactating mother in a rancid, solid form. Weirdo.

Friday, January 11, 2008 11:22:43 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Thursday, January 10, 2008

Someone replied to my ad, Peter Sidebotham of Hand Picked Burgundy, and we went out for lunch. I can fault neither the lunch nor the company.

The first thing that needs saying about Andrew Edmunds is that the wine list is fantastic. It may be short, but there is an embarrassment of riches to choose from. We had two excellent bottles at knock-down prices that we greatly enjoyed.

I've been to Andrew Edmunds on countless occasions, and the food can sometimes be a touch miss rather than hit, but today it was on fine form. I started off with some really top hole rillettes of goose. This was very meaty and tasty, and came with an excellent compote of onions and some rather nice cornichons. Peter had some pigeon-flavoured pasta which he said he really enjoyed, it had big lumps of of pigeon meat in it which he claimed made it delicious.

I then had some tuna, which was seared almost to perfection, cooked on the outside and raw in the middle. Peter liked his venison stew, but said it didn't live up to the high quality of his starter. I suppose this was true of mine as well, but I still enjoyed it.

There were more great sweet wines on offer for dessert, and many offerings that I could have eaten if I wasn't so stuffed. May I recommend you choose the Baumard Quarts de Chaume should you be going here and need a half bottle of sweet wine. You should also choose the Clos des Lambrays 2002 if you need a red wine.

Lunch was excellent, Andrew Edmunds were on top form. The service was prompt and unobtrusive, the food was of a good quality and the wine list was just great. If I was being picky I would say they have too much of a white wine-friendly menu for their red wine-heavy wine-list, but they have enough things for one to prey upon.

A great lunch, made largely by the company (I feel the need to point out here that I paid for my share), but the food and wine were top bunny.

Andrew Edmunds, 46 Lexington Street, London W1R 3LH Tel: 020 7437 5708

Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:05:29 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Sunday, January 06, 2008

After the total shite of a Saturday, Sunday lunch was a complete treat. Le Buffet at Isbergues, an hour away from Calais provided excellent food and wine at complete bargain prices.

They had four set menus on offer, the most expensive of which was an inexpensive 60€. We chose a 45€ menu, which seemed to offer reasonable entertainment for the money.

We started off with three amuses bouches: a mousse of beetroot and some kind of fish, this was completely delicious, the fish was really tasty, not over-cooked at all. This came with a carpaccio of sea-bass with pistachios, which was a tad fishy but perfectly acceptable. The final amuse bouches was a soup of pumpkin, quite lovely. These all really perked me up and set me in the mood for an excellent meal.

The starters were great. I had some truly lovely foie gras with an apple sorbet and a cinnamon poached pear. This was brilliant, the parts all worked in harmony and were of excellent quality. The partner had some perfectly cooked scallops in a creamy mussel froth with some lovely root vegetable frites. The quality of these starters was very high for the price we were paying.

Le Buffet Scallop Starter

We all chose fillet of local beef for our main courses. It was perfectly aged and cooked as little as we asked for. It came with excellent mushrooms that were full of flavour and a little bowl of mashed potato and pumpkin velouté, which I could take or leave but everyone else liked. Again these were excellent quality for the price.

We had a white chocolate mousse with very rich dark chocolate sauce for dessert. The sauce was very powerful, and the mousse quite delicate, they matched perfectly. The chocolate was served with a passion fruit and mango sorbet, which was quite refreshing. They also brought out some green and orange lollipops with this that were hilarious but a bit too sweet to finish.

The menu was very well-balanced and in command of seasonal variation. And, it has to be said, a complete bargain. The wine list was very well chosen and had perfectly reasonable mark-ups. Finishing off with a huge bumper of green Chartreuse really put a smile on my face. An excellent meal that didn't break the bank and left us all with a warm glow of satisfaction. The best place to eat in the Pas-de-Calais, without a doubt.

Restaurant Le Buffet, 22 rue de la Gare, Lieu-dit Molinghem, 62330 Isbergues. Tel: +33 (0)3 21 25 82 40 http://www.le-buffet.com/

Sunday, January 06, 2008 4:23:33 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback

We are in France to pick up cheap Champagne and stopped off at the hamburger chain Quick for a much-delayed lunch. I thought I was so hungry I could eat anything, how wrong I was.

The food was totally, stomach-churningly, soul-meltingly vile. I can hardly bring myself to think about it again so utterly nauseating was it. I've had many nasty experiences in my life and this will be a memorably disgusting one.

I ordered a Supreme Cheese burger, that was wet, with meat that tasted vaguely of piss and cheese that stretches the definition of cheese to beyond breaking point. The bits of fried cheese they offered as a seasonal special were too vomit-inducing to eat more than the smallest mouthful one could foolishly ingest. They had 'rustic frites' as another special. These were slightly raw in the middle but tasted only of burnt potato skin. They, too, buggered the imagination as far as horribleness was concerned.

What I shall euphemistically call 'the meal' was a ranking depressing experience in recent years. To be honest, even the three day old wet sandwiches served up in the Woolwich loony bin have more claim to be edible than this shit. I felt personally offended by the total crap they had the gaul (ha!) to charge us money for. It was completely inedible. No, it was worse than that, it was the contents of the seventh circle of culinary hell. I've had more enjoyable kicks to the testicles than this offensive shite. Never, ever again. No way. Not on your nelly. Death is too good for the designers of the Quick menu, as far as I am concerned. Way below sub-interest, to be a bit briefer.

Sunday, January 06, 2008 4:22:12 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |  Trackback
# Saturday, December 29, 2007

Dr Wadge of the Food Standards Agency has made the excellent point on his blog that so-called 'detox' diets and supplements are a waste of time and money. They are obviously a pile of toss and anyone who buys them is misguided at the very least. I couldn't agree with his suggestion of spending the money you save not buying them on Neil Young albums, though, perhaps Bent or Lemon Jelly...

Saturday, December 29, 2007 7:12:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  |  Trackback